I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
