She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
