just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize