Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
