The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize