the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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