bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
