Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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