I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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