i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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