After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
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