I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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