My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
