They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
