But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
