Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
