I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
