I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
