Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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