Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
