i just snorted my name. best moment ever
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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