I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
