awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
