is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize