Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
