You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
