did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
