I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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