Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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