I'm eating all of the evidence.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
