A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
