He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Less talking, more tequila
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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