I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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