he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
