I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
