Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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