Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
