you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
