do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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