I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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