So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize