i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just had sex on a roof
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
