I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
