Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
