turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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