sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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