Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Your cock deserves a montage
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
