Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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