He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
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