I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize