well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
mondays should just be called national damage control day
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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