you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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