You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize