I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize