Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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