I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
