Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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