i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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