I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
