Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
