either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
you made out with another girl for some wings
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
