Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
