Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
