Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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