Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I want to fling myself into the sun
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
