Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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