it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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